“Fighting for self love is one of the hardest journeys I’ve ever ventured into. I feel like we are taught how to grow and succeed by comparing ourselves to our peers. It’s almost like our successes only matter once they have been validated by others. Our beauty is only eminent when there is a lack of show stopping women in the room. Our confidence is only allowed to be strewn when everyone around us is also confident. We have all grown up in a world where we subconsciously spend our time comparing your life to the lives of others. We are constantly setting our goals based off of where other people have reached. But we forget that we cannot achieve the same things at the same pace as each other. There is a time for everything. Everyday I learn the importance of living in the moment and having faith. Everything that is meant to be will be. We push ourselves to extents that we don’t know if we can reach, and when we cannot get there, we punish ourselves with words of self doubt.” – @rurutatyana ig
My goal for March is to learn how to love myself for all that I have to offer. I want to be satisfied with the best version of myself without feeling like I have to take away from myself. I am tired of being my biggest hater. I am so excited to embark on the journey of understanding myself and understanding the world around me from a new perspective.
Self satisfaction is not a get-rich-quick, fast money scam. The only way to find wealth in yourself is by taking the rough roads. We must venture deeper into the unbeaten paths of our desires, needs and expectations for both ourselves and the people around us. Although there are no “quick hacks”, there are a few steps you can take to make sure you’re set for the upcoming journey.
You can set your intentions in various different ways. You can set them orally or in the written word. It’s always a great idea to a keep a journal to jot things down like your goals and your thoughts. Putting your intentions into words helps to manifest the drive and motivation to get them done! Many people write daily intentions, weekly intentions and even monthly intentions. This helps you to know what you want and helps you strive to achieve it. It’s important to be clear of what your goals are. We live in a fast paced world and time can really fly! The worst feeling is realising you’ve missed out on ample opportunities just because you were not present.
Practice Gratitude and Have Faith in your Future
My daily mantra is “I trust that where I am is where I am meant to be.” (Londrelle Hall). Living in the moment is something that a lot of us forget to do. Personally, I am always focused on what I want my future to look like, and I neglect my present. I get caught up in the act from dreaming and I forget that I need to keep on working hard. If you put in work, time and energy into your everyday life, then there is no reason for your future to not turn out right. Have faith in the process and make everyday worth living. I know more than anyone that when your stuck in a bad place, it feels like there’s nothing else left to look forward to but the future. Your future isn’t being built by the people around you, it is being built by you! You need to get up, and get going! Live in the now, and the future will figure itself out LATER.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!
The omission of complete honesty never works out well. Honesty really is the best policy when it comes to self love and satisfaction. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not telling you to go around exposing yourself to everyone, but I am telling you to be as honest as possible with yourself. You need to be able to communicate with yourself on the most raw and realistic level. The ugliest truths are the ones that you reveal to yourself, about yourself. This step can be hard to come to terms with, but once you validate that part of yourself, you start to grow. Validation does not mean instant change, or assimilation to norms, but it means working on that trait to be the best version of yourself. If you feel as if you need to change something, ask yourself these few questions: Is this quality hurting me or the people around me?; Is this quality rendering me from reaching my full potential?; If I were to not have this quality, would I be the best version of myself? Being able to check in with yourself is such an important thing. It allows you to clarify your wants, needs, likes and dislikes! Lying to yourself does more harm than good. So, be true to yourself.
It is hard to be satisfied with who you are, but it takes strength and courage to grow and understand your true value. Setting your intentions will help you visualise your goals and will push you forward. Having faith in the future will allow you in prosper in the present instead of dwelling in what your life could be like. And communication and honesty with yourself will aid in the process of understanding yourself, and your impact on the world around you.
What’re are your current goals? How do you keep yourself happy? comment below!
Thanks for stopping by! If you haven’t already, take a look at my previous posts below!
- 3 not-so-simple Steps to Self Love and Satisfaction
- Things they don’t tell you before immigrating to the west
- Book review: My top 3 Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie faves
- 5 TED talks by Women of Colour, that Changed my Perspective
- My New York City Tips